Don't Let Him Go
by SweetCheri
Summary: "You let him go all the way to freaking China!" Rei admits to Kai that he loves him, but Kai denies it  yet he so clearly adores Rei . What happens when Kai realizes that he loved Rei all along - is it completely too late?
1. Chapter 1

_**So yeah - this is a fanfic I found in one of my old folders. I finished it like a month ago but started it probably a year ago. :) I hope you like it~!**_

**__****Disclaimer: I sadly do NOT own Beyblade or any of it's characters. Or Beyblading wouldn't be all they were doing. ;)**

**_Don't forget to Review! 3 _**

_**Chapter One**_

**REI'S POV.**

"No." He said quietly and I froze. "I don't love you Rei."

I took a shaky breath and looked up at him, my eyes shining with unshed tears. One managed to escape and as soon as that one broke free the wall crumbled and I cried softly. He watched me, standing a few meters away from me, his face emotionless. My body shook but I nodded and I bit my bottom lip, squeezing my eyes shut. I was sobbing quietly when suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped around me.

I looked up at Kai's face and cried harder. He loves me…but he's scared. I know it, his eyes tell me everything. He needs to learn how to show his emotions, he needs to know not to be scared of them. I gripped his shirt and pressed my face to his chest, sobbing into his shirt. He held me, not saying anything or moving, just holding me. We stayed like that for an immeasurable amount of time and I wrapped my arms around him slowly. Hugging him, I took one last breath of his mesmerizing scent and stepped back. I wiped my eyes and looked up into his broken crimson ones.

"I love you Kai." I murmured and walked out of the room. "Goodbye." I whispered before I shut the door softly behind me.

I ran to my room, not wanting to see the rest of the team. But, alas, Tyson and Max were in the living room and caught sight of me before I could enter the safety of my room. They ran to me and hugged me, asking me what was wrong. I forced a mall smile and looked at both of them.

"I'm leaving." I said, my voice barely audible to even me. Max swallowed and Tyson narrowed his eyes.

"As in, going on a trip and coming back or…" His voice faded as he realized the option I chose. "Rei don't." He pleaded. I swallowed the lump in my throat and managed a shaky sigh.

"I…I have to." I said and turned into my room, grabbing my pre-packed suitcases. I had decided that Kai would decide if I left or not. He made his decision, and this was mine.

"Rei can I see Drig-" Kenny said but stopped as he saw me walking to the door.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder and carried the other small suitcase in my hand.

"See ya chief." I said with a small sad smile and opened the door.

I turned back to look at them but seeing past them I noticed a bluenette behind them, arms crossed and face emotionless. But his eyes…they said so much and tears started to slide down my cheeks again. He glared accusingly at me, his eyes showing how he wanted me to stay. But he needed time. Time to understand, time to figure his feelings out, and I wouldn't help by staying here with him knowing my love for him. I bowed my head then walked out, shutting the door behind myself and quickly running to the taxi that I had called twenty minutes before.

The driver looked at me and decided not to ask as I just pushed my luggage in, murmured where I was going, and closed my eyes. The drive was long, leaving me too much time to think, to the airport and the driver tapped on my shoulder to wake me up. My eyes fluttered open and I handed him money before climbing out and pulling my backpack and suitcase out with me. Without a second glance back, I walked into the airport and up to the international flights desk.

"A one way ticket to China please."

**KAI'S POV.**

I closed my eyes and tried to block out their questions. My eyes burned with tears that threatened to break free and my fingers curled into fists.

"Kai!" Tyson shouted.

"What did you do?" Max yelled at me.

"Hiwatari listen to us!" Tyson screamed. My fists started to shake and I kept my eyes closed.

"Did you kick him off the team?" Kenny asked. My throat felt thick and I grinded my teeth together.

"Kai, did you hurt him?" Max asked quietly and I wanted to force down my anger and not to snap at the blonde that I treated like a little brother, but I couldn't. My eyes snapped open and I glared at all of them.

"Yes. I hurt Rei bad okay? He didn't deserve this pain but I did! And now he's gone! _Forever! _And it's not fair because I didn't want to hurt him! He shouldn't be hurt because of me, I am, was, his captain. I'm supposed to protect and help not crush and hurt!" I yelled, tears finally coming out as I stared at their shocked faces.

"Kai-" I shook my head as Tyson started to talk softly.

"He's gone and it's my fault. All my fault." I whispered and turned away, walking to my room and slamming the door shut.

I could still smell him on me, in my room, everywhere. I groaned and fell onto my bed, shoving my face into my pillow. I cried like I hadn't since I was younger in the abbey.

Hours later I woke up to my door opening and light pouring into the room. A silhouetted blue haired blader stood there, staring at me. I swallowed and sat up, crossing my arms and putting on my emotionless mask, but it faltered and I just frowned.

"Yes?" I growled weakly. Tyson sighed and walked into the room, flicking the light on and closing the door.

He sat beside me on the bed and stared at me, surprised but trying not to show it. The normally obnoxious and loud blader was unusually quiet and serious, looking at me, his captain. I knew I must look amazing right now too. Blue triangles smudged, eyes swollen from crying, face paled, eyes wide and bloodshot, clothes wrinkled and my hair springing up everywhere.

"Kai why did you let him go?" Tyson asked quietly. I looked up at him questionably and he met my eyes fully.

"What…do you mean Tyson?" I asked, my voice softer than usual without its iciness.

"Kai you love him." Tyson said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I stared at him.

"I can't." I said flatly and he rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Kai it is possible." He said and looked back to me.

"But…but I'm a guy and…he's a guy." I finished in a whisper, my brain trying to process it all.

"It's called homosexuality captain." Tyson said and smirked, my usual facial expression. Then he frowned and sighed. "But your not the only one. Rei loves you back."

"I know." I murmured and Tyson's eyes widened.

"That's why he's gone isn't it?" He asked anxiously. I nodded and he groaned. "So your too scared to admit your feelings for him, because he's a guy and you're a wuss, and- he told you he loved you didn't he?"

Again I nodded and put my face in my hands. Of course. Tyson was right, I did love Rei. It certainly explains the attraction towards the Chinese boy that makes my heart flip when he smiles, which is way too often.

"How long?" Tyson muttered. I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow weakly. "How long will it take you to process it all and go to him? A week? A month? A year? It sure as heck better not be more than that. I'm not one to rush feelings but jeez the poor guy will have killed himself by then. Even Rei has limits Kai."

The thought of Rei jumping off of those cliffs that are everywhere in his village made my heart stop for a second and I shivered tears rolling down my cheeks again.

"I don't know." I whispered. He nodded slowly then chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully.

"Do you think Max is gay?" Tyson asked suddenly and I raised my eyebrows.

"Why?" I asked. He shrugged then sighed. "You like Max don't you?" I asked. He nodded and closed his eyes.

"I love him Kai. And I know he's like a little brother to you so I wanted to talk to you first." It was true, Max was like a little brother to me so I was glad. But….

"First?" I questioned and he blushed slightly.

"You know, before I go for it." Tyson said. I narrowed my eyes.

"It?" I said challengingly and he glared.

"Stop being a pervert, I meant before I tell him how I feel." I chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah its fine with me. Max is gay so go for 'it'." I said and he smiled before slipping off the bed.

"Oh and Tala called. Wanted to talk to you but after I mentioned the words 'Rei left' he said he would see us tomorrow. He's flying in with Bryan." Tyson said but frowned, his honest dislike for the energetic redhead clearly shown.

"Oh joy." I said sarcastically and rolled onto my stomach. "Goodnight Tyson." I said as a hint for him to get out. He caught it and smiled before leaving the room. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift off to thoughts of my new identified feelings for a certain neko-jin.

**REI'S POV.**

"Kai." I murmured. It was late and quiet in the village, the time of night when no one is around but your own thoughts.

It had been exactly three days and four nights since I arrived. Lee had come to the airport to pick me up and since then I have been staying at his place. He lived alone now since he broke up with Kevin and he rarely spoke to Mariah as she had gotten together with Kevin, hence the break up. His small house had three rooms, a living room, a bathroom, a kitchen and backed the forest. The walls were all painted the same brown color with black furniture, earthy colors all around, and scraggly rugs that were soft under ones feet. The lace was nice and the room Lee declared as my own was comfy. With a double bed, a thick green comforter, a small bedside table, a lamp, and a clock, along with a tiny closet, it felt homey.

My eyes opened as golden sunlight poured into the room around the dark green blinds. I yawned and stretched like a cat, curling my back and stretching my arms forward. I glanced over at the clock and found it to be eleven o'clock in the morning. I had been waking up later as I fell asleep later, Kai clouding my thoughts too much. I sighed and crawled out of bed, shivering as the warmth of the blankets left me. Not that it wasn't hot here in the village, actually it was really too hot to be comfortable after staying in Japan for so long.

I located a pair of pants and pulled them on sluggishly and left the room, not bothering to brush my hair. I yawned again as I walked into the kitchen and found Lee there, pouring a mug of coffee for himself.

"One for me too please." I said through yet another yawn. He smiled and poured another mug, carrying it over to me.

"How was your sleep?" He asked. I shrugged and took a long drink, closing my eyes as the bitter coffee burned my throat. I opened my eyes to find Lee still staring at me.

"Bed was comfy." I offered and he laughed softly.

"Alright. Well I have to do some training with the White Tigers, as much as I dislike a few of the members, I am still part of the team. Will you be alright here?" He said as he downed the rest of his coffee.

I nodded and lazily took a small sip of my hot beverage. I walked over to the couch in the living room and sat down, pulling my knees up to my chest. I could feel Lee staring at me for a few minutes as I stared out the large window. It was the time of year when all the cherry blossom trees were shedding their beautiful pink flowers/leaves. It was an amazing sight when a gust of wind blew them around. They tickled faces and made most laugh and smile. It was really magical and I used to love this time of year. But now it just seemed saddening to see the trees lose their beauty.

I sighed and took another sip as Lee called out goodbye and left.

**KAI'S POV.**

"You complete, ignorant, cold hearted bastard!" Yep those words, ladies and gentle man, came out of my closest friend's mouth. Said redhead was standing in front of me, looking down with an icy glare, his bright blue eyes sparking. "You let him go all the way to freaking China?"

"Yes Tala we have already been over this." I said. "Five fucking times." I added.

"Don't get smart with me Hiwatari." Tala warned. I glanced over at Bryan who was watching.

His eyes sparkled as he watched Tala yell in my face. His mind was probably so messed up by now that Tala yelling in my face probably turned him on. I narrowed my eyes at Tala and stood up.

"I didn't want him to go okay!" I yelled.

I knew the others could hear us. Not that they had a choice I mean you definitely don't have to put your ear to the door to hear our yelling.

"I wanted him to stay. I wanted to tell him. But I couldn't." I said, my anger faltering as sadness poked at it with a stick. A big sharp stick.

"Well look where that got you." Tala said. "Kai, we're not in the abbey anymore. You're free. You are allowed to show emotions, you don't have to hide them. You can show them, scream them, react to pain and sadness. I mean how the hell do you think Bryan found out that I love him?"

"You pushed him onto the bed, straddled him and teased him until he admitted it first." I said flatly. He had told me this too many times.

"Not what I mean Kai." Tala said and Bryan chuckled. "What I meant was that, he knows because I showed him."

"In your own _special_ way." I said sarcastically and I was suddenly thrown onto the bed.

For a skinny redhead like Tala, he sure is strong. I fell onto the bed and he jumped on top of me, pressing his body down onto mine. I closed my eyes as he leaned his face inches from mine to whisper.

"You know you want him to know. You know you love him. You know he loves you? So what are you afraid of Kai? Rejection is out because we already know he loves you. So what is it that is preventing you from telling him?" His warm breath blew across my face softly and I opened my eyes to stare into his icy orbs.

"I don't want to hurt him." I murmured. "I'm scared, I'll screw up and hurt him."

"Would you hurt him?" Tala whispered. He suddenly turned to look at Bryan. "Please Bry? We talked about it on the plane, so you can go socialize and I will help poor little Kai."

Well, poor little Kai was scared shitless when Bryan grinned and winked at me. I tensed under Tala and watched Bryan walk out of the room.

"You will pay for it tonight Ivanov." Bryan said and closed the door.

Tala smiled then looked back to me. His fingers dug into my wrists, holding them right by my face.

"So Kai you're afraid of hurting the kitty cat are you?" He asked. I nodded and wondered why he was still on top of me.

"Yes." I whispered.

"But you want him badly. You love him so much it hurts." He said. Though I felt extremely exposed and violated, it was Tala and he knew me best. "Admit it Kai," the redhead whispered. "You love this boy."

"Yes." I whispered and tears trickled down my cheeks. He sighed and wiped them away, icy blue eyes softening.

"Kai you need to let go of the fear of always screwing up. You're captain of a world champion team, not as good as_ mine_, but you understand that you have worked hard and earned this." Tala said. "You know Rei loves you, he told you, opened up the weakest spot to you: his heart. And I swear he left it here with you."

I sighed shakily and he touched my cheek gently, fingers stroking soothingly

"Kai you need to go give him yours in return.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter Two**_

**REI'S POV**

"I thought it didn't matter." Lee said, laughing as he stirred. I laughed with him, grabbing his wrist.

"Why would your grandmother write it down AND underline it if it wasn't important?" I asked, smiling. "Put down the damn spoon." I demanded. He chuckled but obliged and set it down.

"I don't see why you wanted to make these specific noodles. We haven't had them since we were six." Lee said.

"Exactly! I want to know that no matter how much time goes by, some things stay great." I said, smiling thoughtfully at the pot of noodles. Lee sighed, touching my shoulder. 

"Rei, these aren't going to be the same. She had this recipe memorized because she made it so much. We just found it in one of her photo albums." He said. We laughed and I leaned against the counter.

"You're probably right, they won't be the same." I admitted.

I looked better than I had since he had gotten to China. It had been a week now, since I arrived, and I had slowly began to heal. Not heal precisely more so I could be happy again. I would wait for Kai, I decided that, but I knew I needed to live my life too just in case I couldn't wait eventually. It had been the evening of my fourth full day. Lee had dragged me out of the house finally, me looking terrible. We had climbed to one of the highest cliffs in our village and sat there as the sun dipped lower in the sky. The pink leaves had brushed over us as we talked, about love, feeling so broken, pain, everything we shared in common when it came to relationships. I could remember when we were smaller and talked about growing up to become famous, beyblading and all. So soon we had began to talk about when we were smaller, memories we had. And then that breeze carried those pink leaves and I was enveloped in that carefree feeling again. Of course the pain wasn't just magically erased, but it dulled enough for me to smile and enjoy the feeling of being relaxed.

When we had arrived back home that night we dug out the trunk of photo albums, different art projects, awards, more pictures, everything we had. We looked through it for the next couple days and about three hours ago we had found the recipe of noodles Lee's grandmother had made us all the time. So I said we would make them and there we were. Standing there with him, it was easy to feel comfortable in the warm kitchen with the familiar smell floating in the air.

"I think they're done." Lee said as he glanced at the pot.

Quickly we finished everything, cleaned up and dished out. We sat in the living room, eating and laughing. They didn't taste the same, but they did taste pretty close and we definitely enjoyed them. We were talking again, long after we finished and were sitting in the dim light from the lamp beside the couch. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, noticing that it was one in the morning. 

"I'm gonna turn in." Lee said, standing and grabbing our bowls. I nodded and stood, stretching.

"Hey Lee?" I said softly. He looked at me, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Thanks. For letting me come here, helping me. Being such a great friend." I said, knowing there were so many more reasons.

He smiled, nodding. 

"Goodnight Rei." He said. I smiled and nodded.

"Night Lee."

As soon as I reached my room I didn't even bother to pull off my sweats and long sleeved shirt, perfectly aware that I would end up sweating through the night. I was too tired to care and slipped into the blankets, welcoming the comfort they gave.

**NORMAL POV**

Rei shifted, feeling someone shake his shoulders. 

"I'm sleeping." He groaned, turning his face into the pillow. Lee chuckled, patting Rei's head. 

"You have company Rei." He said. The male spoken to frowned, sitting up. He looked adorable, eyes wide and golden it the morning light. His long black hair fell around him, looking soft but in knots.

"Who would visit me?" He asked, head tilting to the side in confusion and bottom lip jutting out in a cute pout. Lee chuckled again. 

"Rei, just get ready and come down." He said. Rei moaned.

"No~. I just want to go back to bed." He said, though his curiosity was perked at who was visiting him.

"Just do it lazy." Lee said. Rei stuck his tongue out and they laughed, Rei's a light sound of childish happiness.

"Fine." He said with a smile and Lee walked out. Get ready?

He slipped off the bed and walked to his closet, flipping through it. Well what was he to wear? He hadn't actually gotten ready for a few days, he had mostly been wearing sweat pants and a shirt of some sort. So he dug through until he found a pair of black pants with a silky red Chinese styled shirt. He went through the process of brushing his hair, a five minute process of painful tugs, then tied it back with an elastic into a low ponytail. Tying his red bandana around his forehead, he looked around himself in the mirror. There were small flaws like the faint dark circles under his eyes which had just started to go away but overall he looked pretty good. Stretching and yawning, he opened his door.

"So your trip was good?" Lee asked, voice steady with some sort of emotion playing in it.

"Long." A familiar voice said. 

"_You two_ didn't seem to mind." _Oh my god…_Rei's eyes widened and he almost turned back but Lee caught sight of him.

"Rei." He said gently, eyes locking with his. Rei's bottom lip trembled and he sighed, taking a deep breath before stepping out into the main room.

Sitting on one couch was Tala and Bryan, close together. Lee sat on one of the single chairs, and leaning against the wall by the door was…Kai. His two toned hair looked soft and his pale face looked stern but smooth. The regular blue triangles were painted on his cheeks and he pretty much looked the same. Tala and Bryan looked at Rei, both smirking and then Rei dared to look at Kai. The Russian blader was looking at him, crimson red eyes focused directly on him. Rei shifted uneasily, not knowing how well this was going for him.

"Lee…" He murmured numbly, blinking. His best friend was silent as was everyone else as Kai pushed off the wall, walking over to him.

Kai walked straight to his path, looking down at Rei who refused to look up at him. Rei said he would wait, but now he was nervous. What if Kai were here to tell him he shouldn't wait? What if Kai was still too confused? He wasn't too sure he could leave Kai a second time without having to sheepishly go back. And then Kai was close to him, head tipped down to look at Rei still. Rei could feel the body heat form Kai, whose smell was making him dizzy, and bit his bottom lip harder.

"We need to talk Rei." Kai murmured, voice low and smooth. God, how did he survive without that voice for a whole week?

Rei felt like he was going to crumble at any moment, his body was trembling and he was hit again with that shock of pure emotion he had for Kai.

"Okay." Rei whispered. Kai was about to take his elbow but he flinched away and the Russian sighed.

They walked to the door in the silence of the room then left, closing the door behind them. The air was warm with a cool breeze dancing around. Rei was trying to steady his breathing and Kai glanced down at him every few seconds. The Chinese led him to the forest, through the familiar paths. Kai followed silently, staying close to him, and soon they entered the clearing. From where they were, looking over the cliff you saw the whole village and Kai took a moment to admire it. Rei stared out at every familiar house and sighed, turning slightly to look up at the intense red eyes that stared at him.

"Well?" He breathed, feeling his heart hammer.

Kai didn't know how to do it. Tala had told him it was simple, open up enough to show Rei he cares then, even more, to show him it was true. But he was scared again. What if Rei had finished waiting? It had only been a week, but it felt different between them now. He swallowed and stepped closer, feeling Rei tense up slightly. Moving even closer, his arms slipped around Rei's slim waist and Rei looked up just as Kai bent down to kiss him. Staring into each other's eyes, Kai felt Rei reach up to wind his arms around his neck. Golden eyes slowly fell shut and Kai deepened the kiss, holding Rei close. They fell back, the soft grass making a good landing, and the kiss broke for breath. Rei was shaking, his golden eyes filled with tears. Kai pulled Rei in between his legs and kept his arms wrapped around him, swaying slightly.

Rei turned and buried his face in Kai's chest, gripping his shirt with clenched fingers.

"Kai…" He murmured and Kai felt the warm tears. He rubbed Rei's back and held him against his chest, kissing the top of his head.

"Sorry I made you wait so long." Kai whispered, looking down into Rei's golden eyes as he looked up.

"I love you Kai." Rei breathed, heart speeding as he wondered what the Russian would answer back.

Kai found Tala's advice partly true. It seemed that Rei understood even when he allowed his crimson eyes to soften, his lips curving up into an actual smile and his arms tightening around his neko. Yes, his.

"I love you too Kitten." He murmured, watching Rei's eyes widen adorably.

He was pushed onto his back as Rei attacked his lips again, tears dampening Kai's cheeks. Shocked at first Kai didn't respond but soon chuckled and wrapped his arms around Rei again to hold him close through the kiss. Rei was crying again as he broke the kiss, bright golden eyes happy with tears. He kissed Kai's cheek, his jaw, his neck, the his ear. 

"Thank you." He breathed into his ear and Kai shivered slightly. 

He flipped them quickly and began to devour Rei's delicious skin, leaving small love bites here and there with bright red marks left behind. Rei whimpered, finger burying in Kai's hair and the Russian brought his lips back to Rei's. It was an immeasurable amount of time before they finally calmed down, the heat of the moment lessening for a few seconds. They both panted, Rei looking down at Kai who he was on top of. Kai chuckled, brushing back Rei's hair.

"You are amazing." Rei said, pink blush warming his cheeks. Kai chuckled again and wrapped his arms around Rei, sitting up and curling the neko into his chest.

"And I'm never going to let you go." Kai whispered into his ear. And that was just the perfect thing to say.


End file.
